Middle Class America Doesn’t like McDonald’s? The Fuck?

by Gabriel Hummel on September 9, 2010

McDonald's anus burger, voted the worst in all of America by Consumer Reports

So the bible of the belt of America has casted their votes and the results are in people.

McDonalds has the shittiest fast food burger in America.

I know, I practically saw my jaw drop through my 2nd story apartment and splash into my Arabic neighbor’s simmering chicken stew.

At least their burger can survive a nuclear holocaust.

Over 28,000 of their online subscribers were surveyed and it came as no surprise that Five Guys and In-And-Out topped the list with their utterly ludicrous burger options.

What man in their right mind doesn’t love animal style fries and a 4×4 burger?

In and Out animal style fries and 4x4 burger

The irony of this whole situation lies in the fact that McDonalds is kicking ass and taking names like Stallone in First Blood.

According to a company representative for McDonalds, “Today we are serving more customers than we ever have.”

Clearly I need to sell off all my stock in GM and subsequently buy up as much McDonalds as possible, all the while scarfing down as many Big Macs as humanly possible.

What I want to know is where is the rating for the fattest ass in America, that’s all that really people give a damn about anyway. It could be like Biggest Loser, but oh so much more satisfying as it’s ballooning spin off.

biggest loser spoof, the biggest gainer

Animal styling


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