UMass Rolls World’s Largest California Roll, Naked Women and Meat Eaters Cry Worldwide

by Gabriel Hummel on September 12, 2010

World's largest California roll set by Umass

I know the first thing I think of when I crave sushi is the great state of Massachusetts, followed closely on the heels of a California roll that has fake lumps of crab meat in it.

So this would come as no surprise that I am currently fantasizing about eating this 422 foot California roll off, what could only be described as, a giant naked wildebeest of a woman.

naked sushi

The roll used 650 sheets of nori, 200 pounds of rice, 200 pounds of poser lame ass crab, and 100 pounds of the sex toy cucumber and avocado.

They not only created a travesty (albeit hilarious) by creating this mammoth concoction, but right after the roll was created, they fucking threw it away.

You read me right; they threw the damn thing away.

I have forwarded news of said event to Africa, Ethiopia, and China in hopes that a band of lion hunters, ancient Mongolians, and starving Marvin himself with come down on UMass with enough force to create a black hole around their college campus.

angry mob simpsons

Creating an angry mob


{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

Iron Chef Shellie September 13, 2010 at 4:42 am

THEY THREW IT AWAY!?! what an f-ing waste!!
mmmm… sushi….I prefer mine not served on a naked woman… mainly cos I don’t know when she showered last 😛


Lorraine @ Not Quite Nigella September 13, 2010 at 12:54 pm

Wow, they threw it away? Although when you think of that fake crab that might not be a bad thing 😛


Gabriel Hummel September 14, 2010 at 2:24 pm


Truer words have never been spoken, if it had been soft shell crab I might have gone spelunking in some garbage bins

@Iron Chef Shellie

A little human excrement never bothered me much, but then again I abide by the two minute rule


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