What is Chicken Fried Steak?

by Gabriel Hummel on October 18, 2010

chicken fried steak is disgusting

Let me frank.

I love food. I adore it so much that my heart yearns for amaretto pralines; my fingers need the tlc of a slice of bbq ribs.

However, every once in a while, a food comes along that makes me dawn a giant “WTF” symbol over my forehead.

wtf mate cartoon

One such food was introduced to me almost immediately was chicken fried steak

What exactly was this long piece of meat like substance that was covered in flour and appeared to have been drenched in hydrochloric acid ala a deep fryer from hell?

Upon further inspection, it becomes evident that this piece of meat that has been known to encompass two separate plates has no chicken origins at all.

In fact, this poultry imposter has its roots in a tenderized piece of cube steak that has been seasoned with flour and pan fried until it reaches the 5th dimension of comfort food.

comfort food grilled cheese mac and cheese

What I want to know is, how the hell and why they hell was this dish created?

Did someone sit down and decide that fried chicken wasn’t decadent enough? The idea of dawn butter and a fat chicken thigh was inferior to the lavish notion of pounding out a piece of steak and dumping a pound of gravy on it in order to insure that it has been properly drowned and ready to consumption.

Don’t forget your grits and baked beans either.

Being as transparent as Boy George’s sexual preference, I love artery clogging goodness as much as the next red blooded American, but only if it tastes good.

early boy george

Unfortunately, chicken fried steak tastes about as good as a deep fried raccoon that has been sitting out on the highway for a week.

Imagine, if you will, a retarded chicken finger, and you have discovered the fundamental taste of this dish.

The first time I had a taste of this dish, I was at a staple southern restaurant that was said to have the best bread pudding, corn flake incrusted chicken, and chicken fried steak in the city.

The Italian inspired pesto rubbed eggs and eggs in a basket impressed me far more than the travesty that was the chicken fried steak. I felt as if I had just been on the receiving end of a road kill roast off in my mouth.

roadkill animals

Since I am a man of diplomacy, I am ready and willing to adore more punishment in the future and try another chicken fried steak that is supposedly awesome beyond all rational comprehension, but for now, I stand by the notion that chicken fried steak should not exist and likely should be taken out back and shot with the rest of the rejected transient dishes of the world.

Prepping the shotgun

Gabriel

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Ivonne October 19, 2010 at 1:01 am

Were you reading my mind?! Thanks for explaining chicken fried steak and for making it so beautifully!

Reply

Gabriel Hummel October 19, 2010 at 7:35 pm

@Ivonne

Anytime darling, to bad that it tastes like rotten feces.

Reply

Karen February 17, 2011 at 3:15 pm

Wow. I’m from the south and really don’t know anyone who doesn’t adore country fried steak (aside from a few vegetarians). I’ve never had it with beans, that’s a little strange to me… I think that is the Texan way. In Florida, it is either served as breakfast (with eggs, hash browns, and the steak topped with country–or. sausage–gravy with a side of biscuits) or as lunch/dinner (with mashed potatoes, corn–or green beans–and the steak topped with either the country gravy or a gravy made from the drippings with a side of either biscuits or dinner rolls).

If go to a good restaurant where it is made from scratch, it is a southern delicacy, but if you go somewhere (like Denny’s, Waffle House, IHOP) that uses a frozen mass-manufactured version, well, it is disgusting. Apparently you had the latter.

Do give it another try sometime.

Reply

Gabriel Hummel February 18, 2011 at 5:53 pm

@Karen

On it Karen, time to drench myself in some batter

Reply

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