Captain Hindsight Proves That Fast Food Combo Meals Actually Make People Fat

by Gabriel Hummel on December 13, 2010


A recent study that was clearly funded by a pack of research analysts shows the absolute hilarity of nutritional research and has shown that fast food combo meals actually sell a hell of a lot better than a la carte.

Surprise, surprise, apparently people gobble up a super sized value meal, complete with a coke the size of the Hoover dam and a container of fries that make a fun noodle display at Target look like a bloody joke.

How is this news? Was super-size me a mock-umentery? Was the pending drastic increase in the circumference of the typical person just recently turn up in the last year? Am I taking strong amounts of Amphetamines in order to cope with the massive amount of face palming I have done in the last 24 hours?


The study stated that the average of an extra 100 calories per combo meal can add up quick (to the tune of an extra pound every month) and suggested that healthier meal combo options be offered in order to help curb the pending stomach explosion of the human populous.

The brilliant take away from this whole study?

“Nobody needs 44 ounces of drink; it’s just because you eliminated the smaller sizes [that they order larger],” she says. “I think there is some responsibility for them to really evaluate, are they creating need, or are they meeting need? That is where we get into, is this ethical or not?”

People will  always eat fast food, even if it does taste like shit in comparison to a beautiful home cooked meal, though as it stands, trying to change the meal combo offerings wont do jack shit for helping to relieve the ailing masses across the world.

A smarter plan? Stop wasting money on studies that clarify facts that everyone already knows about and start throwing money at programs to put real food into people’s hands and make their lazy asses cook it like Gordon Ramsay on speed.

Will it take a lot of time? Yes

Will people be lazy about it? Most definitely

Is a a foolproof way to get people to eat better food that costs less and has more flavor than any Heinz ketchup packet on a burger? Hell yes

Don’t waste time with statistics, change lives with action.

Eat real food.


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