In a strange world where food and rap stars comingle in some twisted third dimension from the bowels of heck, the apocalypse of fast food-ery has occurred with the launch of Flavor Flav’s new restaurant.
Clinton, Iowa is ground zero for this amazing bistro of all things fried and flightless. Apparently he is opening his first chicken joint right next door to KFC, and plans on opening franchises all over the US in an effort to bring a little bit of 90s rap glam to all of us and our strong lack of decent deep fried fare.
What caused my mouth to drop into the ground and crash into the shower of the Arabic woman that lives below me was the fact that Flavor Flav isn’t just another celebrity douche bag throwing his hat into the culinary ring, he actually graduated from culinary school in 1978 and has cooked in several restaurants over the years.
Our main man even spent his gracious time creating a YouTube video to showcase his secret recipe for the most finger licking chicken known to mankind.
Beyond the breakout rap sessions and free gold clocks with every combo meal that is served up, Flavor Flav is working everything from front of house to behind the line, stating that, “I want to be known as up in my spot. Active…You’re going to catch me in there, seasoning up my chicken, flouring up my chicken, frying up my chicken.“
Dear god, hide the children and please don’t let have visions of a RUN DMC McDonalds commercial.
Prepping for the apocalypse