TSA Gets Wrestled To the Ground by a Lawsuit via Jesse Ventura

by Gabriel Hummel on January 26, 2011

jesse ventura wrestling

Say what you want about a wrestler becoming a governor and trying to lower taxes by body slamming people through fake glass, but Jesse Ventura has my vote for the serious ass kicking he is laying down on the TSA.

Jesse Ventura sued the Department of Homeland Security alleging that pat downs and full body scans violate his right to be free from unreasonable searches and seizures. He going for broke and trying to get an injunction that would stop officials from giving him a full body massage at any airport.

Anyone who knows me understands that I believe the TSA, airports, nearly all airlines, and homeland security can all suck it to the highest extent of human possibility.


All of these delays, long cattle like lines, poor customer service, and unwarranted hand jobs are the bane of my existence, and I will gladly tag out Jesse Ventura to execute a pile driver straight to the head of homeland security.


Forget that fact that Jesse is doing this as an over glorified media stunt and really just pissed off t the fact that his hip implant is causing him to feel like a 90 year old man when he gets red flagged at any metal detector. I still support him in his efforts to crush exuberant security efforts and bad conspiracy theories.


There are currently 500 full body scanners in use at 78 airports all over the USA, all of which are guaranteed to cause a genetic anomaly to pop out of your torso when they scan out your body, boobies and all. Either that or you can face the wrath of dirty old man hands or the sweet and succulent touch of a overweight and middle aged crowd pleaser. Regardless of the free body servicing, these airport sexual acts are causing me to waste more of my precious time doing airport jam outs, when I could be doing such things in such spaces as my car.


Stick it to the man Jesse, I got your back


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