People come from far and wide to the great southwest of America only to discover that the greatest proprietor of food in our fair region is that of regurgitated pseudo Mexican food, aka Tex Mex.
Now don’t get me wrong, I practically grew up on chicken fajitas as a kid, and they still hold a warm place in my heart, but certainly not in my stomach. Tex Mex is one of the single biggest abominations in the world of chain food restaurants, and I am here to take a stand against the epic shit-fest that is enchiladas covered in a bathtub portion of cheese, and birthday sing-alongs that should be accompanied by autoerotic asphyxiation.
Chilis, Trudys, Apple Bees, Ztejas, and the like can all burn in the fiery pits of hell for their rejected Spanish fare cuisine, and I am sure that the rest of us would be better people without it. Instead of people coming to visit the southwest for delicious Mexican food, fingerlicking bbq, and king cake, they are getting a food boner over burritos covered in refried beans and a pound of processed cheese.
I just don’t understand it, and while I try and respect everyone’s opinions and tastes, I feel the need to put my foot down and tell them that they are a bunch of fucking idiots for wanting fake Mexican food that tastes like crap for 12.99.
I want to yell from the rooftops that people should expand their culinary horizons and get out of their boxed tv dinner existence. I promise that once you get over the fact that you are eating raw fish or braised beef tongue you will practically have to go back to AA for sexual addiction relapse.
Please avoid all renditions of fajitas, enchiladas, burritos, tacos, and other wolf in sheep’s clothing food fare and make a it a point to eat delicious food that isn’t just fucking terrible for you and your soul.
If that means stepping out of your comfort zone bubble for a few brief minutes to eat something that you actually end up liking, or not liking, please feel free to sue me and or find out where I live and try and kick my ass. More than likely you will find yourself in food heaven or in the recovery lounge of your nearest hospital.
Bye bye shitty food