Couple Unsuccessfully Smuggle 24 Pounds of Cocaine on Flight and Leave My Empire in Ruins

by Gabriel Hummel on April 6, 2011


A young British couple by the names of Roxana Laercia and Michael Eguonoghen were recently arrested at Lima’s Jorge Chavez International Airport boarding a plane with 24 pounds of cocaine and 100 heroin capsules safely lodged in Michael’s stomach.

While en route to London, which would obviously connect them on a flight to see yours truly, there were apprehended after what was likely a full blown body cavity search.

While I am sad that my partners in crime are headed to jail, all I can be is pissed off that my future of having a tiger outside my Miami mansion and an envoy of Jello filled swimming pools all just came shattering at my feet.


Oh well, I guess I will have to make do with pimping and human trafficking.

Petty crimes


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