What do you get when you mix Michigan Applebee’s workers with alcohol? Drunk Babies
Last Friday, Taylor Dill-Reese went into an Applebee’s in Madison Heights, Michigan, where she promptly ordered an apple juice for her baby, as it had been surely locked in a hot car all day with the windows up.
What the 15 month old boy ended up with instead was supposedly a margarita. The boy then apparently got royally tanked, laid his head on the table, and cooed at passing strangers until he fell into a slumber.
Now every Applebee’s employee needs to be retrained as a result of what can only be categorized as a breastfeeding gone horribly wrong. Though, I must admit, if my girlfriend’s breasts shot out gin, vodka, or white Russians, I would die a drunk, happy, man.
What I am wondering is, why the hell wasn’t I invited to this Applebee’s when I lived in the mitten?
I mean, I would have gladly committed food suicide and ate many meals at Applebee’s for said free alcohol and likely molested the attractive younger servers and made a run for the front door with fifth of Goose in one hand and the cash register under my right arm.
Is the server an idiot? Likely
Is it a big deal? Not really
Do I find it uproariously hilarious? Dear god, yes
I am sure that the server got fired, and while it is probably warranted in this situation, it is still worth it to erect a plaque in the backroom of every Applebee’s in order to create a proper shine from which employees can admire the tenacity and bravery of one totally fucked up (but awesome) employee.
One can only hope that more babies become drunk-er I mean happier, at the end of this whole ordeal.
Or at least make my girlfriend excrete vodka.