Applebee’s Worker Gets Baby Drunk In Michigan

by Gabriel Hummel on April 12, 2011


What do you get when you mix Michigan Applebee’s workers with alcohol? Drunk Babies

Last Friday, Taylor Dill-Reese went into an Applebee’s in Madison Heights, Michigan, where she promptly ordered an apple juice for her baby, as it had been surely locked in a hot car all day with the windows up.


What the 15 month old boy ended up with instead was supposedly a margarita. The boy then apparently got royally tanked, laid his head on the table, and cooed at passing strangers until he fell into a slumber.

Now every Applebee’s employee needs to be retrained as a result of what can only be categorized as a breastfeeding gone horribly wrong. Though, I must admit, if my girlfriend’s breasts shot out gin, vodka, or white Russians, I would die a drunk, happy, man.


What I am wondering is, why the hell wasn’t I invited to this Applebee’s when I lived in the mitten?

I mean, I would have gladly committed food suicide and ate many meals at Applebee’s for said free alcohol and likely molested the attractive younger servers and made a run for the front door with fifth of Goose in one hand and the cash register under my right arm.

Is the server an idiot? Likely

Is it a big deal? Not really

Do I find it uproariously hilarious? Dear god, yes

I am sure that the server got fired, and while it is probably warranted in this situation, it is still worth it to erect a plaque in the backroom of every Applebee’s in order to create a proper shine from which employees can admire the tenacity and bravery of one totally fucked up (but awesome) employee.

One can only hope that more babies become drunk-er I mean happier, at the end of this whole ordeal.

Or at least make my girlfriend excrete vodka.




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