Applebee’s Worker Gets Baby Drunk In Michigan

by Gabriel Hummel on April 12, 2011

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What do you get when you mix Michigan Applebee’s workers with alcohol? Drunk Babies

Last Friday, Taylor Dill-Reese went into an Applebee’s in Madison Heights, Michigan, where she promptly ordered an apple juice for her baby, as it had been surely locked in a hot car all day with the windows up.

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What the 15 month old boy ended up with instead was supposedly a margarita. The boy then apparently got royally tanked, laid his head on the table, and cooed at passing strangers until he fell into a slumber.

Now every Applebee’s employee needs to be retrained as a result of what can only be categorized as a breastfeeding gone horribly wrong. Though, I must admit, if my girlfriend’s breasts shot out gin, vodka, or white Russians, I would die a drunk, happy, man.

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What I am wondering is, why the hell wasn’t I invited to this Applebee’s when I lived in the mitten?

I mean, I would have gladly committed food suicide and ate many meals at Applebee’s for said free alcohol and likely molested the attractive younger servers and made a run for the front door with fifth of Goose in one hand and the cash register under my right arm.

Is the server an idiot? Likely

Is it a big deal? Not really

Do I find it uproariously hilarious? Dear god, yes

I am sure that the server got fired, and while it is probably warranted in this situation, it is still worth it to erect a plaque in the backroom of every Applebee’s in order to create a proper shine from which employees can admire the tenacity and bravery of one totally fucked up (but awesome) employee.

One can only hope that more babies become drunk-er I mean happier, at the end of this whole ordeal.

Or at least make my girlfriend excrete vodka.

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Babying

Gabriel

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