Death by Sitting

by Gabriel Hummel on April 25, 2011


You know and I know that 9-5 office jobs can be the most soul crushing expeditions of your lifetime. Your life is your office and your office is your life, and by no small means does this equation end in you being content with your current life circumstances.

In fact, you are likely so pissed off about your job that you want to take your keyboard and jam it down the throat of the nearest HR person and light your boss’s car on fire with a Molotov.

But I digress; the fact of the matter is that you can in fact die in your office from something other than boredom or a knife fight with your supervisor.

A recent NY Times article stated that sitting is actually a lethal activity.

No, the article does not say that if you don’t stand up right now, you are likely to have your pelvic bone give out like an overweight child on a Wal-Mart ride.


Although, it does state that,

“The men in the study who spent six hours or more per day of their leisure time sitting had an overall death rate that was about 20 percent higher than the men who sat for three hours or less. The death rate for women who sat for more than six hours a day was about 40 percent higher. Patel estimates that on average, people who sit too much shave a few years off of their lives.”

Two fucking years? I might as well sacrifice my computer chair to the Inca gods, and coincidentally throw all of my neighboring office chairs into a fire pit while being careful not to burn my father’s diary.


What does this mean to you? Stop working that shitty job that you hate and find something that doesn’t involve your soul being used as a butt wipe for the devil.

Freelance, bartend, travel, learn to breed guinea pigs, the sky is the limit, just don’t waste your whole life away sitting the fuck down.

Stand the fuck up


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